GROSSER
February 2nd, 2004, 07:11 PM
Lesson Number One
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?"
The crow answered "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.
Lesson Number Two
*****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,who shot the
turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and
get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be Boss
because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes
until
finally the ******* spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the ******* being the Boss. So
the ******* went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.
Eventually they all decided that ******* should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the ****!
Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any ******* will do.
Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the f frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut!
Best Wishes...
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?"
The crow answered "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.
Lesson Number Two
*****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,who shot the
turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and
get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be Boss
because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes
until
finally the ******* spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the ******* being the Boss. So
the ******* went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.
Eventually they all decided that ******* should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the ****!
Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any ******* will do.
Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the f frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut!
Best Wishes...