Farawla
February 17th, 2004, 11:05 PM
1. But everybody looks funny naked !
2. You woke me up for that ?
3. Did I mention the video camera ?
4. Do you smell something burning ?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone !
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right ? Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour !
13. Can you please pass me the remote control ?
14. Do you accept Visa ?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think - I was really trying to pick up your friend !
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay ?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo !
22. Do you get any premium movie channels ?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya !
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin ?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera !
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs !
29. I want a baby !
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies !
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work ?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting ?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good ?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs !
37. You're good enough to do this for a living !
38. Is that blood on the headboard ?
39. Did I remember to take my pill ?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere ?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed !
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries !
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed ?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better myself !
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate !
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex !
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape ?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten tomatoes ?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion !
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun ?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon ?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction ?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner !
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast ?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home !
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times ?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child ?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture ?
69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you ?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation ?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something !
72. Did you come yet, dear ?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time !
75. Does this count as a date ?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you !
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you ?
79. Q: You can cook, too right ? A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction" ?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls ?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light ?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes !
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it !
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash !
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer !
95. Is this a sin too ?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain !
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn ?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there" ?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date ?
:lmao:
2. You woke me up for that ?
3. Did I mention the video camera ?
4. Do you smell something burning ?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone !
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right ? Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour !
13. Can you please pass me the remote control ?
14. Do you accept Visa ?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think - I was really trying to pick up your friend !
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay ?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo !
22. Do you get any premium movie channels ?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya !
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin ?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera !
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs !
29. I want a baby !
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies !
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work ?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting ?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good ?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs !
37. You're good enough to do this for a living !
38. Is that blood on the headboard ?
39. Did I remember to take my pill ?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere ?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed !
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries !
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed ?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better myself !
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate !
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex !
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape ?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten tomatoes ?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion !
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun ?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon ?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction ?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner !
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast ?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home !
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times ?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child ?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture ?
69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you ?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation ?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something !
72. Did you come yet, dear ?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time !
75. Does this count as a date ?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you !
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you ?
79. Q: You can cook, too right ? A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction" ?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls ?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light ?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes !
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it !
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash !
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer !
95. Is this a sin too ?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain !
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn ?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there" ?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date ?
:lmao: