White_Falcon_LS
February 26th, 2004, 03:57 AM
G. W. Bush's Resume
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find
any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my
stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our
friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut
taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money. I set the record
for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the
help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and
effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for
the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record
for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock
market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members
of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My
"poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named
after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving
the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign
contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the
largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history. I
presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed
the U.S. policy to allow
convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed
more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S.
history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken
more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am
the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the
World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S.
"prisoners of war" detaineesand thereby have refused to abide by the
Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United
Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the
record for
fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent
of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in
any one-year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the
U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure
of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most
people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15
million people), shattering the record for protests against any person
in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to
order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of
a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations,
the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut
health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families – in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am
the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)
view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I
am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill mypledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic]
to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC
investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or
minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find
any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my
stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our
friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut
taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money. I set the record
for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the
help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and
effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for
the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record
for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock
market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members
of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My
"poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named
after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving
the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign
contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the
largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history. I
presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed
the U.S. policy to allow
convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed
more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S.
history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken
more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am
the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the
World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S.
"prisoners of war" detaineesand thereby have refused to abide by the
Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United
Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the
record for
fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent
of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in
any one-year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the
U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure
of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most
people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15
million people), shattering the record for protests against any person
in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to
order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of
a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations,
the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut
health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families – in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am
the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)
view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I
am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill mypledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic]
to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC
investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or
minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.