ZOSicK
October 30th, 2003, 12:33 AM
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared
a cab home together?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?!
I thought you knew...
Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Have you ever played leap frog naked??
I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your
clothes off in 30 seconds.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I had a wet dream about you last night.
Would you like to make it a reality?
A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
You: "Do you have the energy?"
At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
You see my friend over there?
[Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar]
He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
Can I see your tan lines?
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
I'm leaving this place..want to cum?
You know, I never was to good at math...
like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
That's a really nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you are wearing.
Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet?
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.
Your face or mine?
With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!
Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say:
"Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
What winks and ****s like a tiger?" (said while winking)
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something?
She: What?
He: Me!
I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend
who could introduce us.
Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down;
go ahead say no.
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think
it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer.
Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?]
Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition
to find your G-spot.
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman
would go out dressed like that.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl
comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy
and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and
say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
Were you just smiling at me from across the room,
or do I have my contacts in wrong?
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper.
What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up
for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire!
Are you free tonight or am I gonna have to pay?
You smell wet. Let's Party.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared
a cab home together?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?!
I thought you knew...
Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Have you ever played leap frog naked??
I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your
clothes off in 30 seconds.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I had a wet dream about you last night.
Would you like to make it a reality?
A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
You: "Do you have the energy?"
At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
You see my friend over there?
[Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar]
He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
Can I see your tan lines?
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
I'm leaving this place..want to cum?
You know, I never was to good at math...
like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
That's a really nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you are wearing.
Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet?
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.
Your face or mine?
With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!
Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say:
"Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
What winks and ****s like a tiger?" (said while winking)
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something?
She: What?
He: Me!
I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend
who could introduce us.
Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down;
go ahead say no.
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think
it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer.
Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?]
Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition
to find your G-spot.
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman
would go out dressed like that.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl
comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy
and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and
say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
Were you just smiling at me from across the room,
or do I have my contacts in wrong?
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper.
What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up
for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire!
Are you free tonight or am I gonna have to pay?