Des
November 12th, 2004, 08:31 PM
It's time to consider the candidates for the First Annual Stella Awards. The Stella's
are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully
sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her
two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after
being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain
in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor
ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at
the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after
she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up
since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house
because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight
days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued
the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000
after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home,
having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any
other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
They are :pat: :screwy:
are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully
sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her
two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after
being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain
in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor
ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at
the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after
she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up
since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house
because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight
days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued
the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000
after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home,
having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any
other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
They are :pat: :screwy: